Hot Affair with Boss Began on the Boardroom Table

Dear Deidre I'VE been having sex with my boss but now he doesn't want to know.

I'm 22, married and a receptionist for a software company. The boss is lovely.

He's 49, married and his son works for the company as well.

At last year's Christmas party there was dancing and drinking until the early hours.

I danced with the boss's son but then I felt woozy so he took me outside for some air.

His dad was outside and said to his son: "You go back inside. I'll take care of her." He was a perfect gentleman and wrapped his jacket around my shoulders.

I'd always regarded him as a father figure really but at that moment I knew I fancied him.

He offered me a lift home but he had to call in to the office so we got out there.

We walked into the boardroom and he slid his arm around me and pulled me on to his lap and kissed me. We had sex on the boardroom table.

It's been a year-long affair since, snatching hours together whenever we can for sex.

Sex with my husband is just routine and boring. But my boss told me last week our affair has to stop as his wife is suspicious and he is risking too much.

I'm devastated and my husband knows something is up. The run-up to Christmas has been excruciating. Should I tell him about my big mistake?

DEIDRE SAYS:

It's not a decision I can make for you. Some guys appreciate the honesty but most never get over the betrayal.

Instead vow that 2014 is a new chapter in your life.

Make an effort to date your husband again and revive the spark that you've lost.

If your sex is dull and boring, use your imagination.

Take control and give your husband the thrill of his life.

I'm sending you my leaflet 50 Ways To Make Sex More Fun to help.

And look for a new job.

Dear Deidre MY dad is 88, has dementia and lives up 40 stairs in a flat - but it has great views so he's refusing to move.

I'm a woman of 66 and in poor health myself.

He's pushing me into an early grave.

I live miles away but stay over a couple of nights a week.

He has carers who see him for 15 minutes three times a week but it's far from enough.

He's always on the phone saying, "We make a great team", but I want my own life back.

I want to go away for a break but he gets confused about where I am and calls the police or neighbours saying I've been kidnapped. What can I do?

DEIDRE SAYS:

It's really tough when you're worrying about an ageing parent and it's not easy to stand your ground when they're unrealistic.

Tell your dad he has to go for some respite care. A couple of weeks will be more acceptable for him.

You can then raise the idea of a move to a warden-controlled flat or somewhere safer.

My leaflet on help for carers explains where you can find further support.

Dear Deidre I AM a new dad but I didn't expect to be left holding the baby.

My fiancée and I are both 20 and our baby girl is six weeks old.

Now, every weekend, my fiancée leaves me with our girl and goes out and gets drunk with family and friends.

She's even screamed at me in the street, making our daughter cry. Why's she being like this?

DEIDRE SAYS:

Having a baby has probably had a far greater impact on your fiancée's life than on yours.

She may even have post-natal depression. She needs help to come to terms with being a responsible mum.

Tell your fiancée she needs help and urge her to see her GP or health visitor.

Look after your little girl as much as you can - it's not good for a baby to have her mum so unhappy.

Find support from the Association for Post-Natal Illness ( apni.org 0207 386 0868).

Dear Deidre I'M not sure the guy of my dreams will ever come out - and we can't be a couple until he does.

He's 21 and works for a plumbing company. I'm 25. We met online.

He works in a stereotypically "male" environment and hides his sexuality.

We agreed to meet and thought it would be just sex, but we were really attracted to each other.

We haven't had sex as we wanted to wait.

He went away on a training course for a fortnight and it was torture but we texted each other almost hourly.

He came round as soon as he got back, dropped his bag on the floor and we fell into each other's arms. It was incredible.

I'm falling in love with him but haven't said anything. He has texted saying he loves me.

We've spoken about the gay thing, saying there's no need to tell anyone, but I think he's battling his feelings.

I think he's scared of being in love with a guy.

DEIDRE SAYS:

Lots of people struggle with the very idea of being gay, let alone coming out.

I know it's hard if you're in love but don't pressure him.

Tell him you understand his issues and he has your support.

Suggest that he contact FFLAG - Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays - which has a guide to coming out ( fflag.org.uk 0845 652 0311).

My e-leaflet on gay resources lists lots of further help.

Dear Deidre I FEEL disgusting and I doubt I'll ever get a girlfriend now I've got genital herpes.

I'm 26 and ashamed of my body. I don't know how to talk to women as the STI issue is always in the back of my mind.

If I get close to somebody, I'm embarrassed and I can't tell them.

I now need Viagra to keep an erection as I feel so low.

DEIDRE SAYS:

You need to manage this virus but there's no reason why you can't still enjoy a happy, caring, sexual relationship.

Contact the Herpes Viruses Association for support and information on the latest treatment ( herpes.org.uk 0845 123 2305).

My advice line on erection problems today explains self-help tactics so you can stop relying on medication, which can add to the psychological problems.

Tell me what you think on my Facebook page today

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